How to Say “No”
One of the most difficult parts of choosing to be sexually abstinent until marriage is learning how to deal with situations where sex is all your friends and peers are talking about. Educating yourself on effective ways to let someone know “you’re just not ready” is the best way to keep your future bright.
Come-Ons and Pressure Lines
Believe it or not some of the most popular come-ons have been around since your parents were teenagers. They are the lines that people your age typically use to pressure or try to convince others that having sex before marriage is okay.
By knowing what some of these pressure lines are, you can develop and practice your responses before you actually encounter them. This allows you to more confidently and firmly say "No" if you find yourself in a similar scenario.
Take a look at some of the lines teenagers just like you have encountered.
- Everybody’s doing it.
- Show me you love me.
- But, I LOVE you!
- Please let me share this with you.
- I’ll stop whenever you say.
- If you loved me, you’d prove it by doing it with me.
- I’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with me.
- Nothing will happen. I promise.
- Sex isn’t a big deal.
- It’s OK, I’ve got a condom.
- What are you waiting for?
- You mean you’re still a virgin? What are you prude?
- I’ll love you forever.
- It will strengthen our relationship.
- No one will find out about this.
- But I’ve done it with everyone I’ve ever been in a relationship with.
- If you don’t have sex with me, I’ll find someone who will.
- I’ve been tested and I’m clean.
- C’mon don’t you find me attractive?
It’s Your Choice
The choices you make today can affect your future. No one can predict if or when you’ll have to confront the issue of sexual pressure. Learning how to refuse even the most common come-ons is important. There is no right or wrong way of saying “No” to sex. As long as you make it clear that you’re “not ready”. Be assertive.
Everyone will react to particular situations differently. Knowing what come-backs work will help you stand up for yourself and your choices. Remember, it’s your choice.
Tips that work
• Be confident in your response and follow though by repeating until he or she gets the point.
• Knowing the common pressure lines and practicing what you say before the situation arises will eliminate some of that on-the-spot pressure.
• If a situation feels uncomfortable or "funny" to you simply walt away and stay away.
• Your body language can sometimes send mix signals. Use body language that will get your point across clearly. Stand tall, speak clearly and be assertive. Eye contact is important when delivering your message that you are not ready.